So dumb.

It is almost April, meaning a new school term for those in Japan, a new season of anime goodness, and a new set of problems for me. There are too many things to do in such a short time. I just do not want to feel like I am not doing anything.

If April was supposed to be the month of new beginnings, then I feel like I’m stuck in the past thanks recent turn of events. I hope that such a trivial matter over my stupidity will solve itself on its own.

If someone made a promise with you, then one would have known the person previously and would have trusted the person enough to agree to such a promise.
Now lets put this under a shoujo manga situation. A girl is being bullied by a bunch of classmates, when suddenly her friend came and told everyone to leave her alone. The bullies suddenly run out of the room and left the two alone. When the girl started to cry to her friend for causing him so much trouble, the friend replied with a really cheesy promise, “I will always be there for you.” The girl was relieved that her friend said those words to her.
If you were the friend, would you say that? What if it was a stranger? Would a stranger really say something like that? Not unless they are your stalkers. The point I am making here is that if you do not believe in what you are saying, then there is no meaning behind your words. You are just a talking duck who just wants to create some cheesy fantasy shoujo world similar to the above story. Is it so wrong to have a desire to live in a dream world? No, but to selfishly place an opinion on someone in order to get the expected outcome is.

What I find even worst is trying to hide behind a group of people by using the pronoun “we”. Everyone uses the word all the time but it sometimes does not cross people’s minds that the word “we” is plural and thus a group of individuals could potentially be dragged into something that does not necessarily relate to them, or something they wish to not be apart of.

They say communicating with someone when they have a problem, or talking it out with other people will help with finding a solution to a problem. But I think it is a shame that some people can not seem to understand that selfishly wanting will not bring about the true solution to the problem. Makes me wonder if these people will ever change?

Cat got your tongue?

What did I do?
That was what I thought…
Desperately searching for the truth,
I found the answer.
Yet the butterflies won’t let me dance.

Fantasies are fantasies,
Page after page,
Character after character,
Sappy love stories and Heroic triumph.
Yet why do I feel lost in my own story?

I understand.
Was I oblivious to the fact…
In the end…
I…
yet lost, confused, empty.

The words I want to say,
feel like rotten lies.
The smile I want to show,
doesn’t seem to reveal the heart.
I want to apologize to you but…
Yet the cat has got my tongue.

***

Wrote about how I’m feeling at the moment. Truly the cat has got my tongue. Slowly I’m starting to realize that maybe I brought it upon myself. I ask myself “Why me? Why choose me?” I’ve asked that question from the beginning but… The more I look at how confused I am, the more guilty I feel for the people around me and at fault. I…I can’t bring myself to…

I can’t even finish my sentence.

Sorry if this post is strange…sorry minna-san…sorry…sorry…

Snake

Ruby and I spent last night making a smiley that could be used by all Asian children who have parents that enjoy coming into the room randomly to see what you are doing.

[OTL] or [j] or [ ] represents a cardboard box. Meaning “I’m undercover, parents in the room, you don’t see me shhhhhh.”

!j or “It’s SHOW time.” would obviously signal that you have survived and that the situation is now under control. The ! being the ! seen in the scene between Lucario and Snake. j being Snake in his sitting position (the dot in the j is the head.)

Hope this helps~!

Genius…(part 2)

Recap from part 1, a genius is someone who is simply someone who is smarter. It’s hard to explain, however recently I have decided to try and make myself a genius by fulfilling some of the common links found between the geniuses I find around me.

Now, I think my opinion has changed slightly in the sense that geniuses may only appear smarter. Though it is also true that geniuses such as Mozart and Einstein had higher or more active brain activity, along with a few odd quirks. They were and still are geniuses. But now a days, you don’t find people like them. Maybe because there were so few of them in the first place. Another theory could be that they are getting stupider because they are trying to adapt with the rest of humanity. Whatever the case may be a genius is a genius.

As I reflect upon over what I did and the overall outcome, I have to say that the experiment failed in terms of results. Even though I did all those trivial things such as putting on glasses, and not tying my hair up, my overall grades have not improved. Now that I think about it, they have gotten worst. Which isn’t very hopeful for me and other people who suffer from being really “logistup” (logical yet stupid.) But I guess my opinion on that changed as well. Actually, my view on things changed quite a bit but yet I feel like nothings changed at all. The important thing is that as long as there is a will to change, change is possible. However, whether that change will lead me onto the path of being a genius, I won’t know until I see my next report card. Even if I want to do better, it never seems to work out that way. This reminds me of those episodes of Naruto when one of the characters are dying or something, and then suddenly they get a burst of energy. That happens in every shounen anime…

Hey! Since geniuses are getting dumber, it might be easier to catch up to them, you never know.

namae?

I just read an essay which was written by Shige, from NEWS. It was very good and I want to share his words with everyone ^^,

But why can’t I decide about my name myself? Thinking like this, I thought that I wanted at least to decide my nickname by myself. Well, it wasn’t that great a nickname, it just proves I had no sense.

Silly Shige~ hehe
link to translation

Uni Touring

This March Break, I took the time to go visit McGill and Queens university. I also visited my cousin in Ottawa, which was really nice even after the dreadfully annoying snowstorm.

You can check out the photos I took. Don’t expect any pro photos because one, I don’t own a pro camera like otou-san does, and two, I’m not skilled when it comes to taking pictures.

Montreal is really nice when there’s lots of snow. I remember the Montreal trip last year and it was super sunny and warm. I also remember visiting the year before during the march break, it was all slushy and rather gloomy. Quite a contrast to my recent visit. It was very lively and bright (from the snow) chilly too. I also managed to find a new Chinese bakery in the china town. I have to say, their egg tarts meet my standards ^^ I guess because it’s BRAND new. I also discovered that inside this amazing new bakery there’s Tea Shop 168! Meaning I won’t die from lack of bubble tea if I leave for Montreal.

I visited both McGill’s music school and McGill itself. I have to say that their new music school building was amazing. Apparently, the entire building was designed so that it was sound proof. In other words, I can scream and talk as loud as I want in a room, and nobody will hear me. There is a sound recording studio that is more like a hall than a studio. It is HUGE, and it’s supposed to fit large orchestra’s such as the Montreal symphony orchestra and a choir. Also, the tour guide said that the hall was built first, then layered with a thick layer of concrete before building the rest of the building to ensure that outside noise will not disrupt the recording. That is what I call pro. Also their music library has a section dedicated to music scores. The have everything from chamber music to full orchestrated scores. There was also a computer lab that only composition students were allowed in, but it was so cool. The computers had piano keyboards hooked up to them so that you could compose music using some software program.

Queens was different in terms of atmosphere and set up. Queens, though everything is relatively close by, everything felt very random for me. Also the atmosphere was really uptight. I didn’t find anything particularly interesting or different about Queens other than the fact that class sizes are smaller than McGill. Maybe that’s why I needed to distract myself by taking pictures of Queens…maybe not.

Sorry for the late post ><

Update

So, yesterday was white day and it was pi day. Anyway, I didn’t have time to write anything but, nothing especially happened so it doesn’t really matter. Ah, demo I wished I could have participated in the draw so that I’d get flowers from Yamapi ><

Recently I went to Montreal and visited McGill, and I also went to visit Queen’s University. I will be posting about that soon hopefully ^^,

Ah Super Smash Bros BRAWL is amazing~ though it takes some getting use to because the controls are different.

Recent addicted song is Konayuki (powder snow) by Remioromen which was the insert song of 1 Litre of Tears. Its one of those sad songs that make you want to remember things that happened in the past, and then look forward. I feel like in that sense it fits really well with the drama 1 Litre of Tears.

Compiled clips of 1 Litre of Tears, may contain spoilers.

One down, three more to go

FLICK THIS! I just got over One Litre of Tears and now THIS? WHY, NAZE?!

Spoiler:
Well now I’m really sad. They killed off Lockon, and now I wonder what the hell is going to happen now that the sanest of the gundam meister is gone. It was sad when Haro at the end called out for Lockon. R.I.P Lockon

Abayo aibou

No images for today due to potential spoiler, sumimasen.

１リットルの涙

１リットルの涙 or 1 litre of tears is a japanese drama that was released in 2005. The drama is based of the novel with the same title, which was based on a diary written by Kitou Aya who suffered from the disease spinocerebellar degeneration. In the drama, Kitou Aya is portrayed as the main character Ikeuchi Aya.

Ikeuchi Aya is a 15 year old girl who is about to attend her first day of high school at Higashi High when she suddenly fell strangely, injuring her chin. After being rushed to the hospital she was diagnosed with having spinocerebellar degenration. A disease where the cerebellum of the brain gradually deteriorates causing the person’s ability to control their muscles to decrease. Therefore, the person would have difficulty walking and eventually be unable to walk, have trouble speaking and swallowing, holding items such as a pen, and would often fall a lot. The drama follows Ikeuchi Aya from when she was first diagnosed, to when she could no longer hold a pen to write.

For the past two days, I under went a 1 litre of tears marathon watching all 11 episodes plus the special. Though I did not cry 1 litre of tears, I did shed a tear every single episode. Especially the scenes with Aya and Haruto. Though the scenes were a little bit on the romance shoujo side and a little bit hard to imagine in real life, they were the scenes where I cried the most. These were also my favourite scenes out of the entire drama. Makes me wonder if there are people like Haruto in the world. Even though there were moments that made me think “Oh! It’s going to be ok,” deep down you knew things were not going to get better. One episode Aya was able to walk along side everyone, as if nothing was wrong, and the next episode, she would need the help of a wheelchair at times to get around. Watching her family, her mom especially, trying to put on a smile to support Aya, the way they all got along and…it was difficult. Like Haruto, I too was kind of envious of her family. The one character that I thought changed rather significantly was Aya’s younger sister Ako. The change from being someone selfish to a more caring sister… for example when Ako studied very hard just to get into Higashi high school so that she could carry on Aya’s dream of graduating from the high school she wanted to graduate out of was something admirable and amazing out of all the sadness that surrounds the whole story.

Though the acting may be a little hard to watch because the producers DID choice pretty faced actors *cough* Ryo *cough* to play some of the major parts, and although some scenes were dramatize by adding rain, the story itself is worth the watch. There is just way to much to say about this drama, that I would probably start crying again. Even listening to the insert song Konayuki, I get teary at the chorus. Though you may not cry 1 litre of tears, you may shed a tear.

information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1_Litre_of_Tears
If anyone has a link to One Litre of Tears icons, please let me know.

Hana wa Sakura Kimi wa Utsukushi

Really nice song by Ikimono Gakari.

I love the beginning of the song, how it is very calm, as if you are sitting underneath a sakura tree. Then when the strings come in, it is like a huge gust of wind blows away the sakura petals. The rest of the song then kind of feels like fall and winter, as if waiting for spring to come back. It is a very simple piece and the strings really adds to the song especially during the transitions into the chorus.

Lyrics:
From: www.Jpopasia.com (the link is too long)
Kanji
花は桜　君は美し　春の木漏れ日　君の微笑み
冬が終わり　雪が溶けて　君の心に　春が舞い込む

窓をたたく強い雨はまだ続くと　ラジオから流れる声が伝えています
電話から聞こえた声は泣いていました　忘れたはずの懐かしい声でした

君はまた　もう一度　あの頃に戻りたいのでしょうか
春を待つ　つぼみのように　僕は今　迷っています

花は桜　君は美し　春の木漏れ日　君の微笑み
冬が終わり　雪が溶けて　君の心に　春が舞い込む

変わらぬ街の景色が教えるのは　ひとつだけここに足りないものでした
「いつもの場所」と決めていた駅の前　揺れ動く心が僕を急がせます

僕はまた　もうー度　君の手を握りたいのでしょうか
春を抱く　かすみのように　僕は今　揺らいでいます

花は香り　君はうるわし　水面に浮かぶ　光が踊る
風が騒ぎ　街は色めく　僕の心は　春に戸惑う

春はまた　もう一度　この花を咲かせたいのでしょうか
僕を待つ　君の傘が　あの駅に　開いています

花は桜　君は美し　春の木漏れ日　君の微笑み
時に燃える　春の吐息　二人の時が　春に重なる

花は桜　君は美し　春の木漏れ日　君の微笑み
冬が終わり　雪が溶けて　僕の心に　春が舞い込む

Romaji
hana wa sakura kimi wa utsukushi
haru no komorebi kimi no hohoemi
fuyu ga owari yuki ga tokete
kimi no kokoro ni haru ga maikomu

mado o tataku tsuyoi ame wa mada tsuzuku to
radio kara nagareru koe ga tsutaeteimasu
denwa kara kikoeta koe wa naiteimashita
wasureta hazu no natsukashii koe deshita

kimi wa mata mouichido anokoro ni modoritai no deshouka
haru o matsu tsubomi no youni
bokuwa ima mayotteimasu

hana wa sakura kimi wa utsukushi
haru no komorebi kimi no hohoemi
fuyu ga owari yuki ga tokete
kimi no kokoro ni haru ga maikomu

kawaranu machi no keshiki ga oshieru no wa
hitotsu dake koko ni tarinai mono deshita
itsumo no basho to kimeteita eki no mae
yureugoku kokoro ga boku o isogasemasu

boku wa mata mouichido kimi no te o nigiritai no deshouka
haru o daku kasumi no youni
boku wa ima yureideimasu

hana wa kaori kimiwa uruwashi
minamo ni ukabu hikari ga odoru
kazega sawagi machiwa iromeku
bokuno kokoro wa haru ni tomadou

haru wa mata mouichido kono hana o sakasetai no deshouka
boku o matsu kimi no kasa ga ano eki ni hiraiteimasu

hana wa sakura kimi wa utsukushi
haru no komorebi kimi no hohoemi
toki ni moeru haru no toiki
futari no toki ga haru ni kasanaru

hana wa sakura kimi wa utsukushi
haru no komorebi kimi no hohoemi
fuyu ga owari yuki ga tokete
boku no kokoro ni haru ga maikomu

English
the flowers are cherry blossoms, and you are lovely.
the spring’s light through green leaves, and your little smile
winter is over, the snow has melted, in your heart spring has arrived

striking the window the strong rain is still falling,
the voice coming from the radio has already told me
the voice i heard on the phone was crying,
it was the familiar voice i should have forgotten

still, would you like to go back to that time once again?
waiting for spring, just like a flower bud,
i have now lost my way

the flowers are cherry blossoms, and you are lovely.
the spring’s light through green leaves, and your little smile
winter is over, the snow has melted, in your heart spring has arrived

the unchanging scenery of the street has taught me,
it was the only thing that was missing here
“our usual place” was decided to be in front of the station,
my trembling heart is urging me forward

still, do i want to hold your hand once again?
embracing the spring, just like the mist, now, i am shaking

the flowers are cherry blossoms, and you are lovely.
the spring’s light through green leaves, and your little smile
burning out sometimes, the spring sighs, the sighs of us both, pile upon the season

the flowers are cherry blossoms, and you are lovely.
the spring’s light through green leaves, and your little smile
winter is over, the snow has melted, in your heart spring has arrived