re: Awakening [again]

The latest chappy I posted had a lot of musical inspiration embedded within. Which I’m going to explain in this post.
Awakening

The inspiration of the title, and most of the plot work. The song lyrics emphasized dreams, and the feeling of comfort when you’re by the side of a loved one. Which were kind of key themes in the story I guess because Kino kept wanting to return to the dream, but she couldn’t cause it was technically a nightmare. Oh and at the end were the two of them were finally together…although not really. I made an AMV with this song, and I posted it on my blog sometime ago, so that’s one of the reasons why I have the “again” bit there.

again

Is a song by YUI and is the first opening of the new FMA series, FullMetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. The title itself is like a key idea in the story. Although you will not know this because I haven’t posted or finished writting that section of the story, Kino has a bad habit of digging her nails into her arm due to anxiety, so that’s why Yuki says “You even started hurting yourself again!” Originally, I wasn’t going to make her emo, but then I had to find a way to get Yuki to yell at her, cause I don’t understand men and their idiotic pridal logic (female logic is also retarded too…) I tried to make her even more emo than previously. I mean digging your nails into your arm…yeah hurts, but the marks will disappear eventually. But doing it several times for a month is definitely not good for you. And yes I will admit I have tried doing this in the past…not telling how far that past is though ^____^
The fact that I posted a post with the same title is another thing.
Oh and running away, Kino tends to run away from things a lot which I find is really annoying, but what can you do? Also, I tried to add some parallelism to the first chapter I posted called Aruarian Dance so if this was a book, you should have that “haven’t I read this before?” If not, my bad.
The lyrics kind of worked well with the story too.
For example
Shiroi nooto ni tsuzutta you ni
Motto sunao ni hakidashitai yo
Nani kara nogaretain da
Genjitsu tte yatsu
As if having written it in a white notebook
I want to divulge myself more honestly
What do I want to flee from?
…Something known as reality?
The overall general solution to Kino’s problems is to be more honest, and to let people try and understand her. But often times she doesn’t cause she’s too scared that they’ll see the ugliness of her, so she runs away before she’s hurt.
Which is why it annoys me to run away because it hurts either way. You stay with someone, but you’ll end up feeling crushed whenever your around them, and when you try and leave the relationship behind, you feel even worst. It’s a stupid endless cycle of hurt.

Chopin Waltz in E minor Op. Posthumus

I’m actually playing this waltz right now. This performance was done by the great Rubinstein. He is THE master of piano, I really like his version of this waltz. His tone makes if feel like I’m on the clouds, under the clear starry night. I actually cried the first time listening to it cause it was just so pretty. I hope to be able to play like that in the near future >___<
This is the waltz Kino and that other girl were talking about. When I was filling in the gaps and pieces of the story, I had the song on repeat, so the music has a strong influence on the writing. I tried to have it so that she was telling her story through the music in that section. The whole ups and down of not being noticed. It then occured to me after a while that the waltz was called E minor for EMO! Hahaha.
For those of you who don’t know, Steinway and Petrof are brands of pianos. Although their name changes, its the one thing people can steal from you…probably. Like me, I refer to my musical instruments as people sometimes so Kino’s babble about Petrof was just for kicks…even though I hate Petrof.

Other things I have to say…
Throughout this chapter, it should be apparent that she didn’t refer to Yuki by his name but as some person.
There was no sense of time until Yuki came, so time flows in dreams…Earlier in this post I mentioned that a month passed through this chapter so yeah there really is no sense of time at all. The next chapter based on my notes is supposed to be a recap but in Yuki’s perspective. So what he did during that month cause he did a lot of things.
I find it interesting how Fiona’s name actually rhymes with the names of people I actually dislike, hahaha. So if your name rhymes with Fiona, you might want to reevaluate yourself…just maybe.
The random blurb at the top is a warning from me. Seriously if you plan on being a writer, do not write love stories for you will kill your brain with the cheese, cause I did.
Anyway, I learned a lot of things while writing this story, hope some of you people learned something to (other than the fact that I can’t write XD)

Awakening [again]

“Hello, my name is Kino Pavane.”
That’s my name. I bowed to my new classmates politely, my hand holding onto my other arm tightly. I looked around scanning them, yet avoiding eye contact. Everyone had the same colour hair, black like mine. In Grandia, because everyone came from different places of the world you would see blondes, brunettes, red heads, and even the odd brightly pink dyed hair. Some girls were plain looking, and some painted their faces ready for the treacherous battle of love. The guys looked as carefree as men always are. That hasn’t changed. Everything was the same; the classroom had four walls, two lined with glass windows; a chalkboard at the front; and rows of desks. Nothing has changed. Nothing except the people. Yet, this feeling of anxiety and agitation inside couldn’t be erased as my nails dug into skin ever so slightly. They must have thought I was an excited new transfer student.

One of the boys “kindly” gave me a tour. I say kindly because he probably had ulterior motives, like everyone does.
It was a simple public school. The standard gym, track field outside, and classrooms. One thing I noticed is that the school was no where as huge as Grandia. They definitely picked the right name for that school, Grandia for Grande egos, sums of money. A school where little old me wouldn’t, couldn’t possible fit in. As we passed by a small practice room with an upright piano, I looked through the window and was disgusted at how I murderously made ears bleed. Sure I played, but if nobody could listened to me then there wasn’t a point trying to understand what Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin were trying to say, let alone myself. There was a reason why I never was able to move the audience, because I’m a terrible person at heart, a monster.

Can I take a picture of you?
They asked as if I’m some kind of tourist attraction. The girl told me to smile to the camera and I tried to remember how. More muscles are used to frown compared to the number used to smile. And even though it isn’t hard, for some reason it was excruciating. Like slitting your wrist, it’s not hard but it just hurts so normally people (who are sane) wouldn’t be doing that.
I smiled.

I stood up and tucked my chair in before leaving behind another day. A woman who blended in with the students, despite her out of uniform outfit, and grey hair, came up to me and gave me a few encouraging words. I smiled to her weakly and left.
“If you need anything don’t hesitate to ask,” the teacher called out to me kindly with a mature smile. When has this happened before? I faintly remember. It was déjà vu, but I was anticipating something to happen if I rushed out to the raw cold. There was a sea of chattering students disrupting the calm sound of winter’s snowfall. I loved the snow. I watched it fall gently into place as the burning sensation returned eating me away. My mouth trembled, wanting to say his name, but I forced myself not to.

The snow I loved burned my skin cold as some happy couple pushed me into a snow bank unknowingly. I stood back up and my plain expression amplified the non-caring atmosphere shielding each individual, including myself. I noticed a girl in my class was lassoing her arms around another guy, while telling another one to shut up. I looked away. I hate those kinds of people, the kind that wears the smile of a last Duchess. Not to mention the fact that she reminds me of Fiona because the only word in her vocabulary was “shut up.” But I have no right to say such things because I’m the same as her, unpleasant.

Then I return to my household, and was interrogated by a woman with a disturbingly pleasant smile. Sometimes I would wonder why she tries so hard to pretend to be my mother when both my parents died long ago. If there was anyone I wanted to drag across the city, it would be this obnoxious child.
“What were you doing?”
“I picked up the groceries.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I was walking along the way, I might as well.”
“You should have called and I would have picked you up.”
“We shouldn’t be wasting gas,” or else we’d have to bomb places to solve this childish problem called “climate change.”
“Why should a child like you worry about that?” why should a child be asking a child an adults question? The sound all became like mush as I shut myself in. I heard something like don’t disrespect and screaming, but why should I care? No use respecting someone who doesn’t act like an elder.

The day ends with nothing happening, with nothing changing, with nothing out of the ordinary. As if he never existed in the first place.

I eventually found myself returning to what I look down as society. A society where nobody cared, where nothing matters, and where time stands unchanged. I woke up, went to class, got satisfactory marks, and everything else I lost when I went to the dream world I retrieved. I wish I could return, but I reminded myself that happiness could never last, and that even if I returned, I would just end up being the annoying third wheel. It was nothing more than a fairytale, a dream, a figment of my imagination. He never existed, was never there. As long as I continue to deny and avoid the subject of existence, I will be ok. I think…

I heard a melody being played during break. It was familiar, and it was tragically left unfinished.
What kind of song is that?
Something I made up for my theory classes.
It’s very pretty.
But it’s not finished yet.
You might want to get on that.
There I sat infront of the black piano, made by a lesser known maker. As I recalled how that oh so sweet melody went, little by little, it began to fade, one note, one rest, one bar at a time. Each time, I felt my skin burn. Why did I play music? Why did I even start to learn to play on this large instrument? Why am I so hopeless without it?

“Umm, you’re Kino right?”
“Yes.”
The girl’s face lit up, and was full of cheerfulness. Something I wish she would share.
“I’ve seen your recitals at Grandia, and I’m actually a big fan of yours. I’m studying piano at a small studio in the city, and I’m having trouble with my Chopin waltz.”
“So you want me to play it for you?” It wasn’t too hard to guess what she wanted.
“Yes, please.”
“Sorry, I don’t play anymore.”
“Oh but please! Here, I’ll lend you my score; you don’t even have to play through the whole thing, just a little bit,” why was this girl so desperate for help? It’s not like she’s going to make it big anyway, so why try so hard? She’s probably going to give it up anyway.
“I’m sorry, I’m asking for too much. But just, after seeing you play the waltz, I was left totally speechless. It was amazing, and it really inspired me, and—“
“I’ll help you,” the words just suddenly came out of my mouth, and now I’ve put myself under the spotlight.
A waltz…it’s a type of ballroom dancing in ¾ time. I’ve played many waltzes in the past and I’ve never danced a waltz before, or have I?
“Facilment.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It’s French for easily, as in you should play with ease. Chopin wrote, played, and taught in that style. So when you’re playing your arms shouldn’t be ridged, but fluid.”
“I still don’t get it.”
I looked at the black and white keys; I put my foot down on the pedal, and tried to remember.
“Like this,” The first arpeggio was played, and the sound rang in my ears, the second and third arpeggio was played, and the sound resonated in my fingertips, the minor third in the high register was played, and the sound rippled in a pool of memories. This sadness came from the Earth like oil shooting out. The opening of the first theme followed, and I couldn’t help but remember that touch when our hands met, and when our feet floated on cloud 9.
“In order to achieve the right amount of tension in the arpeggios, fluidity in the arms is important. Applying force will only make it choppy, and that’s not what Chopin wants.”
“Ok. So maybe it’s like, you can’t dance the waltz with stiff body’s kind of idea?”
“Precisely. You just have to remember that Chopin never intended to have his music be accompanied by people waltzing around.”
“That explains the faster tempo.”
“Hmmm, I guess you could say that.”
“Could you play the whole thing for me? I’m sorry for being selfish, but I kind of want to here you play this again. If you want you don’t have to play for me now, I know! How about you play at our school festival?”
I didn’t know how to respond to such enthusiasm.

Opening the score and tracing my finger over the melody and the writing, before I gripped onto flesh and read it in my head, hearing everything as it all came back to me. The first time I touched the keys of my father’s piano was when that bitch took him and mom away. I hid in that room for days, reaching for books, and tears pounding away before my fingers. Without knowing it, I was infront of that old studio again, key in hand. I opened the door to darkness, and went in.

The name was Petrof this time. But no matter what the name was, nobody can ever steal him away for he was far too big to carry, or even move for that matter. To think I could just leave him, was idiotic of me for together, we make music.

People held their breath; what was going to happen next? A sudden short pause before I told a sad story, about a lonely person who just wanted to be true to her passion, and unchanged to her friends. But she was stalked by a shadow. The sunny skies were filled with stars, and the ground suddenly became clouds carrying everything away into the non-existing moonlight. Just when they thought I would let them off this ride, Petrof pulls everyone back on for the girl’s story was not done yet. When the girl’s heart wavered with feelings of unrequited love she smiled, freezing her tears. Nobody noticed at first, but she called out not once, but twice, only for me and Petrof to notice her shatter into pieces—when I shattered into pieces. Scattered across the audience, I heard the percussive sound of clapping. Before I knew it, I was picking up the pieces bit by bit, trying to piece myself back together, so I could play again.

I wanted him to hear my music. I wanted to waltz together again. I wanted him to see me, not the monster, but I can’t, for there’s nothing left of me as I peeled it off. I regret. Regret for leaving the dream, but unfortunately all dreams must come to an end as I looked down at my filthy hands.

“That performance, it was good—No, it was beautiful. The sadness was just overwhelming, but at the same time I could feel myself float.”
“Don’t be modest, the piano was out of tuned, and I haven’t played that since last December.”
“Kino, you should keep playing. I know you might not think you’re great, but you are! You really love the piano right? Why should you give up on something like love? That’s kind of silly if you ask me.”
I thought about those words. I wanted to make things right, but there’s no way I could ask him anymore. It seems after digging so far deep, I couldn’t climb back out of my hole.

I stood in a little huddle of girls. How I got here, I can’t remember. Something about how a concert pianist doesn’t belong here and because of my performance, everybody was talking about me. One girl blew a large bubble from her pink bubble gum, two other girls giggled. Another girl inhaled a cigarette’s poison and blew it back into my face, as if hoping I got second hand smoking. They were all “comforting” me because I was apparently kicked out of Grandia. I just threw a twisted smile and the girls all moaned in disappointment.
“It must be because some rich guy at Grandia threatened you.”
“Yeah, rich guys are all jerks, like Yuki Pelletier breaking up with Lily and Mayu just like that.”
Instinctively, I punched the girl. My blood suddenly boiled beneath my skin, and old anger resurrected from inside me. People were still blaming him when it was my fault. I hated it, people like them. I was hit across the face, and a cigarette butt was spat at me burning my white dress shirt, and stained it with nicotine. The other gasped and then soon commenced the torture.
Gum was placed in my hair, which was then soaked in water. Scented chemical fumes were sprayed without consideration as it burned my eyes and I was pulled from left to right by the roots of my hair, and pushed into the wall. I looked at them and they laughed at their trash. It was really funny watching them act as if they were all high and mighty, when this type of bullying wasn’t much. It was no different then when I was in grade school. But then they called their delinquent boyfriends so that I can eat my words. Off course I fought back, but this was a sign, this recognizable feeling of something corroding the walls of my insides.

“Excuse me, you aren’t from this school are you?”
“No I’m not.”
“I’m afraid I can’t let you in.”
“Oh no I’m just picking someone up.”
“You’re name?”

I was in the hands of the guillotine as the executioner was about to deliver my punishment. I closed my eyes and heard my name. I laughed at how God was toying with me and the scientific Doppler Effect. Despite the doubt, my heart was racing as if it said otherwise. A warm wind swished past me and I fell back to sleep into dream land. The world started to sparkle, I wasn’t sure if I had a concussion but…
“X marks the spot, time to dig out my buried treasure.”
“What are you? Some kind of pirate?”
“The King did a great job hiding the diamonds. But it was nothing.”
It was nothing, he said. I was still readjusting to one month of lost time.
“Who the hell are you?” inquired the boy as he obviously did not recognize him, but everyone else did and so they crowded around the scene of the crime.
“Nice of you to ask. Hello, my name is Yuki Pelletier, most people know me as the Pelletier’s president, but someone stole that title from me. You can just call me Yuki”
“Girly name.”
He cleared his throat trying not to show his irritations to my snide comment.
“It seems my girlfriend was causing some trouble here. Please forgive her.”
As instinctive as the first punch was, I smacked the side of his arm. There was no mercy. “Hey! Why are you mad?”
“I’m not…” He picked me up, and carried me off unwillingly before I could answer.

…and then we were in the back seat of a car. The still awkward silence did not affect the driver at the front. But anxiety filled the air as I looked one way, and he looked the other. My hand and mouth kept everything a secret. After an hour, I noticed nothing has changed. The tall evergreen trees were covered in snow, and the tall fence blocked outsiders like me from entering their castles. But it seems I’m being returned to my proper place, says the pirate who kidnapped me.

I breathed in the fresh mountain like air as I looked out into the sunset, and felt frustrated for some reason as I walked at a breakneck pace away from him.
“Wait!”
I didn’t want to hear anything, but he continued playing this childish game.
“I can’t play with you all day,” I tried to tell him off seriously. I tried to move my feet, but they were rooted to the ground. What on Earth was I doing? My irritation burned.
“How long are you going to avoid me!?” He grabbed my arm with his warm hands, and I flinched for a moment.
“Ow, let go of me!” I said pulling it away, and hiding it behind my back, “sorry…” I apologized with a smile, as I looked at him hoping, just hoping he didn’t notice…
“I can’t believe it, you…”
I couldn’t do anything anymore but make excuses.
“It was an accident, you know? I was in a lot of fights and—, “ the sleeve was rolled up, and I closed my eyes. Not because of my own dirtied presence but because of the kind of expression he would have worn when he saw the evidence of the monster inside of me.
“What do you think you’re doing hurting yourself?”
Stop it.
“You think you can just smile the pain off, no big deal. You think you can just disappear into thin air without saying good bye, no big deal. You think its ok if other’s hurt you or if you hurt yourself, no big deal?”
Stop it. “I told you…” I didn’t want to hear it! I didn’t want to hear his angry voice.
When I willed myself to move, I collapsed into the cold snow, but it was all numb to me. I opened my eyes at the coldness of his words and saw something that had me perplexed. Melted snow? No…it was tears.
“You didn’t tell me anything! But refresh my memory anyway; maybe I’ll remember something not hearing!”
“Why does it matter to you?! Why does it matter whether I’m hurt? Why does me disappearing from you matter so much? Why does it matter if I smiling or not? I’m just a third wheel to you. A disgusting monster…“
“I love you!”
Yuki’s voice echoed through the open air. This wasn’t a dream.

re: 鏡の国のアリア

Haro minna-san~!
So another story in the Kino x Yuki series that is…emo again. I’M SORRY D: I know I promised a happy story, but as you can see, I’m not a very happy person deep down inside lol.

Anyway, so the title of this story is the title of a song by Nana Kitade.
鏡の国のアリア

lyrics can be found here

I really like the song, and the strong sense of imagery in the lyrics. Its actually really chilling in contrast to the happy, and more melodious songs that dominate my playlist.

Anyway, for this chapter, I was trying to convey Kino’s feelings by writing it in first person. It was a little difficult cause I think love is overrated and redundant (I’m going to get shot saying this aren’t I?) But then again I find the hardest problems to solve are the most trivial. In order to write the story, I tried to put myself in Kino’s frame of mind. Although I don’t really know if I was able to relay her feelings, I hope I didn’t break any brains with my terrible sense of grammar and bad story telling skills.

鏡の国のアリア

I was unusually anxious, as I shuffled to the grand rotunda. Even though I cut my practice time by a half so I would make it early, I still wondered, “was Yuki waiting for me?” But suddenly the world crashed in front of my eyes, as Lily stole him for just a moment in eternity.
The contents of my hands spilled revealing a freshly frosted colourful array of sweet goodness, contaminated by the feasting unseen bacteria. Simply saying, “it slipped out of my grasp” was a mere understatement. But what else was there to say?
I stumbled a bit before running out the door into the cold autumn wind.

Yuki threw Lily off of him and wiped his mouth with the back of his soiled hand.
“Kino!” He barked, trying to get her attention but she never turned back. He chased after her, like the pathetic dog he was. Lily stood there at the foyer watching Yuki’s back. She secretly wished to herself that he was running after her.

I sat underneath the shelter of a playground slide. It was frustrating how stupid I have become, and how annoying the world around me was. How childish.
She was lost, lost and no where to be found.
She was scared, scared and petrified of moving forward.
She was frozen, frozen in an endless waltz.

“Kino! Where are you?! If you can hear me then say something!”
The tears built up as I heard muddy footsteps draw closer and closer to my secret base. Lonely dark shadows that have haunted me in the past, crawled up my spine and choke me.

My mouth opened, as I saw a golden haired figure. I sprinted, panting so hard that you could hear the sharp sound of my breath pierce my lungs. Reaching out to him, arm extending, and hand outstretched. Out of pure desperation, I called out his name, yet only silence was heard. With that final leap, my hand grabbed onto his shirt tightly, only to feel it slip right through my fingers. This was a dream seen many times, each time they were all dreams. What makes this time any different?

“Kino, I’m sorry…I’m sorry…”
That wet paw drew to my face, only for it to be swung back at him.
“Don’t do this to me! Just go back where you came from!”
“But I can’t—“
“Leave me alone! If you stay with me, you’ll only get hurt because everything is my fault.”
“What? Kino, I think we should talk.”
“Just get out of my face!”
“Kino, I’m not leaving you here like this.”
I spoke the truth, and only the truth.
“You’re always disappearing, even if I told you to stay, you would just walk further away from me. So why don’t you just go away?! Friends, right, I’ve hated you since the very moment you spoke to me, so why don’t you just do yourself a favour and forget about me and go out with Lily. For all I care, you could fuck her for hours on end and give her babies! I don’t give a damn!”
I shrieked, with anger before trapping myself in this darkness I hated so much. It was as if the world revolved around me, and I wanted to stop.

On that bulletin board, were the names of those special people. The kind of people you would say had “talent.” But of course, I’m not special, and so my name wasn’t there. I knew people like me couldn’t achieve anything, and yet I feel ridiculous for being upset.
“Work hard, and I’m sure you’ll ace it,” those words were lies. Just like the boy who spoke them, but that’s just like me placing the blame on someone else. The sad thing was I believed in this fairytale that I don’t belong in. This isn’t reality, and I learned that the hard way.

I lifted my hand, above black and white stripes, appearing to be ready to paint colours.
“Kino, you may start,” said the nice Russian lady who sat in a stiff chair. Her ears opened, hoping to hear something spectacular from garbage. But not a single sound escaped.
“Kino?”
The contents of my hands spilled and the darkness absorbed the colourful array of melodic goodness, over the Steinway’s polished wooden keys.
I kicked myself out, leaving no trace of a murmur.

It wasn’t hard to guess what was happening around me. I knew I wasn’t anything special, I knew that I was second best, I knew very damn well. But God seems to enjoy keeping me chained to witness unnecessary pain. I don’t care, yet I’m troubled anyway. I’m too aware, too sensitive to the insignificant changes that happen around me, it’s disgusting. It’s disgusting how I’ve become like those despicably self-centred people. That’s why nobody will look at me.

Eric handed Kino some ice tea, and noticed she did not flinch from the cold, as if her hands were even colder than the bittersweet solution itself.
“Eric, what am I doing here?”
“What do you mean?” he asked lazily staring at the clouds that passed by through the hard clear substance.
“It’s all just some stupid dream, I shouldn’t be here.”
How silly of her to have thought that something as horrible as her would be able to understand what the great masters had to say.
How silly of her to have thought that someone would listen to crap like her.
How silly of her to have thought that Yuki would even want to look at a monster.
“Please, I’ll do anything…I’ll fly to Mexico, kill someone and put myself in jail, or even jump out of this window, just get me out,” I pleaded as the very air of the place made me sick. “Is this your wish?”
“A wish?”
“I said it before remember?”
“I’ll grant you one wish, the least I could do for you.”
I am a stain and I want to wipe myself clean from this perfect fantasy.
“I wish I never existed.”

Re: May I have this dance

Some notes from the Panda General.

I have great timing, since semi was last friday (mind you I didn’t go cause I’m an antisocial emo person.)

Anyway, I didn’t look over it a lot, so if it’s badly written, my apologies. I will fix it.

Obviously, because I’ve never been to a school dance, I wouldn’t know what it was like, so I just assumed it involved a lot of people talking, and a lot of loud music, and a lot of people in dresses and suits.

This part of the story was set when Kino and Yuki are 2nd years (Grade 11) at Grandia School. Around third term. Essentially it’s a very prestigious school with a lot of rich kids, and a few students who are on scholarships, Kino being one of them. Basically this is the beginning of a lot of shit that happens later.

Originally, I was planning for Kino to end up not going because Yuki was already taken or busy. It be something like, he was busy so he told Kino he wouldn’t be able to come. But then I didn’t know how to make her cry (yeah I’m mean, I wanted to make her cry.) So I went with the he was already taken route cause then I could have someone else make her cry instead of Yuki.

Someone who read the story commented on how he always says she’s cute. The main reason was because I suck at writing so I repeat the same word OVER again. Really need to fix that. Uhh but then I thought later maybe it was a form of habit, because Kino does really see herself as a person but a monster, or a burden. Man, I’m making him out to be a sweet person with a girly name.

Like I mentioned last time, everyone’s names are four letters long XD Except Nadako…and Keith who only makes a minor appearance.
Here’s a list of everyone mentioned in this story FULL name:
Mayu Goldsmith
Nadako Fubayashi
Rolland Eric Lea
Keith Staedtler
So Eric’s actual name is Rolland, but again, four letter short names are my thing.

Since I skipped the 1st term part of the story, I’ll give a brief descriptions of the characters
Mayu: daughter of some goverment official in the states. Used to be Yuki’s fiance but yeah that didn’t turn out well. It was an arranged marriage.
Nadako: daughter of a Japanese family who won the lottery.
Eric: Son of the director of Grandia College (the school). The school’s Prince.
Keith: Mayu’s stalker, he’s fairly rich too.

(to be continued…)

May I have this dance?

Love was in the air, its sweet cinnamon aroma spread through the giant complex. One would have known how light and pure the scent was when the sacred cry of a hungry soul calls for it. Following the fresh trail, to the kitchen, the sounds of metal clanging, taps running, and maidens humming could be heard.
“You made a lot of cookies,” Nadako noted observantly as she continued reading the recipe book closely. As if she was calculating something behind those glasses she wore religiously.
“Oh well I’m trying out a new recipe and I was going to have Yuki be my guinea pig.”
“Eh?! So you aren’t giving me any?!” Mayu whined selfishly, as she stood in her familiar kitchen.
“Just that Yuki said he really likes my baking, so I made extra for him, if you want you can take some since you helped make them.”
“My my, you sure you don’t like Yuki?” Mayu asked curiously.
“Huh? He’s a friend,” Kino responded as if it was the obvious answer, unfortunately she misunderstood.
“That’s not what I meant. Do you like him as a man? Are you in love with him?”
Kino dropped the mixing spoon she was licking on the counter, surprised.
“Ha? What kind of question is that?”
“Do you like him?” Mayu asked again seriously, intimidating Kino as she started to turn a slight shade of pink.
“Why are you asking me this?” She asked trying to avoid the question while nervously trying to clean up the mess she made.
“Just curious,” Mayu smiling at Kino’s fearful gaze.
“Mayu, you need to learn to find happiness other than poking fun at people.”
“Oh, but it’s more fun if I tease Kino.”
“I think Yuki does a good job doing that already,” Nadako said truthfully driving a stake through Kino.
“You can’t have any cookies bully!”

“Here are the cookies.”
“Mmmm I’ve been waiting for these!” Yuki grabbed his bag of cookies and looked at them. His wide smile, and innocent eyes made him seem like a child receiving a present from Santa.
“I hope you like them,” Kino said anxiously as she awaited his reaction.
“They look so good,” he said breathing the aroma of Kino’s baked cookies. She looked at him with an awkward expression, wondering what the hell he was doing. He ate a whole cookie in one go and couldn’t contain his happiness as his smile grew even bigger.
“Make me cookies everyday,” he requested like a whiney kid.
“Ha? I’m not your girlfriend you know?” she laughed taking it as a joke.
“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” he teased trying to make a seductive facial expression but it just made Kino laugh harder.
“Not particularly. I’d never date someone who was such a terrible fiancé to Mayu,” she said trying to rub salt on an unopened wound.
“Ok, that wasn’t my fault.”
“Then care to explain to me why you two decided to split?” She asked, assuming that it wasn’t a big deal. But Yuki’s hesitation to answer proved her wrong.
“Umm…” Yuki was stumped as he couldn’t find another way to avoid the question. It’s not that he didn’t want to tell her the reason, but just that he was scared of how Kino will react. For it was a very delicate subject for a comedian such as himself, timing was crucial.
“Ah there you are Yuki!” Mayu came into the room as Yuki’s saviour, “Ok so tickets are $50.”
“Really?”
“Yeah not bad huh? So we can pay together, or do you want to pay me back?”
“I’ll pay you back.”
“Kino, are you going?” Mayu turned her attention to Kino.
“Too what?”
“Grandia Ball?”
“Hell no,” she answered immediately. She looked to Yuki and suddenly her feelings on the subject started to waver. On second thought…
“You should go,” said Yuki trying to convince her, but it just reaffirmed her decision.
“You know how much I hate going to these things,” she said with growing frustration towards his ignorance.
“You’d be really cute in a dress.”
“If you wanted to see me in a dress, then maybe you should have asked me in the first place,” The words spoken without thought or censoring as she excused herself from the two of them and the classroom.
“This is why I’m not engaged with you anymore,” Mayu commented to Yuki with a hint of disappointment at how dense he could be.

The sunsets and the sun rises, time moved on, but to Kino it was as if she was in eternity. Walking down the hallway, absent minded, she pondered the meaning of her words. Why would asking her first make a difference? It then hit her, the reason why he didn’t ask was because she never wanted to go but deep down she must have really wanted to go, it was just deep down, hidden along with everything else she keeps hidden from everyone else, and herself. Suddenly she bumped into something, in fact, she bumped into someone and her momentary trance was broken, temporarily.
“Ah, sorry,” she said apologetic, her head lowered slightly.
“Kino! I was just going to go look for you.”
Kino looked up and realized the person she bumped into was the prince, Eric. She smiled slightly and naturally took a step back, creating space between them.
“Yes?”
“Want to go to the ball with me?”
Kino stood there speechless at the request.
“I need someone to go with, you know?”
It took her a minute before she could reply, “sure, I’d be happy to go with you.”
“Great! We’ll talk more later ‘kay?”
“Yup,” she stood there, wondering why she felt so troubled. She was asked by the prince of the school to the ball, wasn’t she supposed to be a little bit happier? She doubted herself, what did she really want? The more she thought about it, the more she hated herself for being this confusing.
The setting sun glowed through the windows and casted Kino’s shadow against the wall. She sat at her desk, puzzled by Eric’s request as she stared off at where Yuki was sitting. She felt unworthy of his request, for she didn’t really want to go, and because she didn’t believe in the Cinderella story.
“Kino are you ok?” Suddenly a hand flew by her, and she quickly blinked and looked for a face to the hand. Nadako stood over her with an expression of a worried friend.
“Huh?”
“You’ve been daydreaming the entire day,” she informed Kino, who was unaware of being unaware.
“I have haven’t I?”
“I’ll let you copy my notes.”
“Thanks, Nadako,” Kino took the notes and then frowned slightly.
“Why do I have to go to something so silly?”
“You mean the ball? To be honest, I thought you would go with Yuki.”
“I thought so too…” Kino said sighing as she tilted her head as if trying to see things in a different perspective. What would have had happened if Yuki asked her instead?

***

Kino threw down a strip of paper onto a desk violently.
“Happy? I’m going!”
“I’m happy,” Yuki smiled, and Kino glared at him, wishing she could rip the smile right off.
“Good, I better have fun. If I end up crying, and depressed by the end of it, I’m going to kill you.”
“Who are you going with?”
“Hehe, the Grandia prince,” she smirked, trying to make him jealous that he didn’t ask her in the first place, “I settle for nothing but the best.”
“Oh…that sounds nice,” Yuki said with the same irritating expression on his face. Kino’s heart started to cringe at Yuki’s optimistic reaction. Disappointed she left, swiping the ticket from the table and out the classroom again.
“Kino wait!”

Kino carried her worries to bed, and in the depth of night did she dream a sweet dream.
Standing in a rose garden under the blessing moonlight, the stars casting their magical romantic spell, Yuki graciously bowed and extended his hand to her. It was as if the prince asked Cinderella for a dance. Kino hesitated when placing her hand in his hand. He gently closed his fingers, and naturally placed his hand on her waist, and the two began to float in the clouds.

When Kino opened her eyes, her heart was beating wildly like provoked beast. She quickly placed her hand over her chest in effort to calm herself down, as she looked from side to side, hoping nobody can hear it. She then looked infront of her and saw herself dressed up and painted like a doll. She heard a knock on the door, and turned her head slightly.
“Kino, it is time to go,” Mayu said opening the door and letting herself into the room. Kino stood up slowly, before taking wide strides forward.
“Is Yuki here?”
“He should be. I haven’t seen Eric either…”
Kino sighed, exhaling and then breathing in the fresh rich floral scent that was infused to the very building. As Kino and Mayu entered the reception area, a wave of noise washed over her. Large hanging chandeliers glittered brightly, the walls covered with regal wallpaper, grandiose ice sculptures were set up down the middle. Kino was in awe, as she watched the servers manoeuvre through the sea of people.
“Mayu, what am I supposed to do?” Kino turned to her side realizing she was talking to herself, and she was lost. She wandered around, admiring the chandeliers, the wallpaper, the ice sculptures, and sticking out like a sore thumb. She eventually made a full circle, and walked out of the reception area and peeked into a small lounge. Its dim lights, small quiet area, and dark coloured walls contrasted the grand hall she was just in.
“Yoh,” Kino froze in her spot, startled by the sudden greeting, as if she wasn’t expecting anyone to call out so suddenly in the dark. When she looked to see who spoke, she breathed a sigh of relief to find out it was Yuki.
“You’re still here?” inquired Kino.
“Of course.”
“Shouldn’t you be having fun at the ball?”
“I should be asking you that question.”
“I…I didn’t want to come,” Kino said using the same excuse, while turning her gaze away from him as if trying to avoid his observant eyes.
“I bet you’re just saying that because you really want to go? Or maybe, nobody asked you before,” Yet, he hit right on the spot.
“Why are you being so annoying about this?”
“Hmmm?”
“You just want me here to feel awkward is that it?”
“Ahem, I’m guessing it’s another of Mayu’s creations?” Yuki casually tried to stir the conversation onto a different note. Eyeing her silk dull silver dress draping her small figure, and her hair done up in a way that can not be replicated without the help of hair stylists. Kino responded with a silent nod.
“Why not have a seat with me in the loner section?” He asked his hand motioning to the other empty chair across from him.
“Ha very funny,” she said no impressed.
“Kino that’s where you are!” Mayu called, quickly walking towards her.
“Oh Yuki you’re here too? Geez why are you hiding, it’s not courteous to leave your date behind.”
“Right,” he said with a tone of indifference as he leaned back into his chair, becoming more comfortable than he already was. Mayu rolled her eyes at his behaviour and turned her attention to Kino.
“My friends said they saw Eric near the entrance of the reception area if you haven’t found him.”
“Thanks.”
“Well I’ll leave you two here seeing as you two stubbornly enjoy being antisocial.”
Mayu elegantly walked away to a group of girls all dressed up in frilly dresses ranging in different colours, some more prominent than others. Kino and Yuki followed and as they stopped infront of the entrance they both looked at each other for a second and immediately turned their heads to the other direction. Kino looked through the crowd and soon Eric came to view. She immediately pursued him through the crowd, walking away and leaving Yuki behind. She stopped and looked back; her heart had a sinking feeling when she saw him standing there lonely. Just like how she was earlier. Yuki smiled to her and she smiled back weakly before stumbling through the crowd in her heels. Kino followed the tall recognizable figure to the end of the dance hall and into a hallway where the hotel rooms where.

“Yuki where’d Kino go?” Nadako came rushing in, clad in sweats, panting like an anxious dog
“I’m not sure actually.”
“This is bad…”
“Why?”
“During dinner, I found out that he’s taking a bunch of girls to the ball, so he’s two timing all of them, including Kino!”
“Shit! She went off because she saw Eric!”
“Yuki you have to find her! I don’t know if she has feelings for him, and I don’t know if she even cares, but even so, I don’t want her to get hurt—“ Nadako pleads struck a chord with Yuki, and dashed off into the crowd. Nadako stood there before she too spearheaded her way through the hall.

Kino followed Eric, trying to call his name but the music was blasting too loudly. She was sure that he heard her at least once when he looked up and behind him. Kino persisted, why was he running away from her? She felt predictably deceived, as if she knew he didn’t really want to go with someone like her, a middle class, low ranking monster. When she turned the corner, her suspicions were proven true when she saw Eric and another girl together. When she walked a bit closer she realized that the two of them were kissing.
Eric hearing someone coming pulled back from the girl and saw Kino standing in the hallway.
Kino, although knowing, was ignorant for her knees buckled, and pulled her down to the ground.
“Kino…”
“Eric, why did you stop?” the girl whined selfishly trying to pull Eric towards her again. Eric shoved her to the side and walked up to Kino.
“Sorry.”
“I was gullible.”
“No, it was wrong of me to ask you in the first place.”
“But…” She spoke quietly as if she’s given up.
“Next time, go with that Pelletier kid,” he said before walking back to his date. His date gave him a lecture and a slap before she disappeared, Eric disappearing later.
“This isn’t fair.”
Kino whispered as she held her hands close to her heart. ‘I’m so stupid,’ she thought to herself.

“Kino!”
Yuki turned the same corner to stumble across nobody there. Mayu followed behind. She was slightly out of breath, when she informed him, “I made Keith search the perimeter.”
Yuki turned and looked at her, waiting for her to catch her breath before asking a silly question,”In return for?”
Mayu sighs,”I have to go out with him this weekend.”
“You’re such a good friend,” he commented patting her shoulder to consult her misfortune.
“I know…wait…IDIOT! WHY AREN’T YOU SCREAMING?! KINO IS MISSING! SHE DISAPPERED! AHHHH!!! Nadako said she saw her running down the hallway.
She’s probably really confused. If you don’t get your butt moving and leave her like that, she’ll definitely say or do something really stupid like she usually does. Eh?! WHERE DID YOU GO?!”
While Mayu was rambling, Yuki already rushed off down a hallway. As he ran down the hall Nadako blinked and then pointed to the direction Kino ran, with a smile. Yuki nodded in thanks and kept running. Yuki soon ran passed Keith.
Keith exchanged a couple of words, “She’s not here, probably at the bus station.”
“Thanks.”
With that Yuki headed out the doors. The rain splattered across his face, and dampened his hair as his heart called out to Kino.

Kino was sitting on the bench at a bus stop under a covering. Sheltered from the rain she looked out into the road and listened to the rain explode against the concrete, and the wind roar bringing a cold shiver down her back. She crossed her arms and frowned when even the rain wasn’t willing to stop raging and calm down. Cars passed by disrupting the emptiness of it all. She then lowered her gaze, disgusted with staring at nothing and tired of trying to understand anything. Soon another car passed by and Yuki appeared standing over Kino.
Yuki breathed heavily, after running after Kino. He looked at her, with a concerned look yet was relieved that she was alright physically. He slowly sat next to her and didn’t say anything.
The rain poured, and poured and started to let up. Kino noticing the sounds changing she looked up and felt the warm calm silence she wanted to hear. She closed her eyes and suddenly her mind became clearer as an image of Yuki came to mind.
“Yuki…”
A bus stopped, the doors opening.
Yuki stood up, shaking the bench the two of them were sitting on, and Kino quickly opened her eyes.
“Let’s go,” he said anxiously, as if trying to lighten up the mood.
“Go where?”
“To town,” he told her trying to make use of the opportunity given.
“But…”
Kino stopped herself from rebelling, and just followed his lead.

When the two of them got off the bus the rain had stopped and it was the peak of night. The atmosphere wasn’t damped by the rain as the lights glittering like stars, illuminated the historical cobblestoned roads.
“Isn’t Nadako and Mayu going to get mad?” she asked quietly, worrying about the worriers.
“Don’t worry too much,” Yuki said smiling, her heart speeding up slightly.
“But…”
“But~?”
“It’s awkward!” she blurted out to him before she retreated into a small shell and looked away from him. She blushed.
“How so?”
“Because we’re really out of place. People will think we’re a couple!” She bluntly said, although embarrassed for saying it out loud.
“Then let’s play a game!” he said enthusiastically
“What game?” she inquired not liking where the conversation is going.
“The “Pretending to be a couple” game~!”
“Eh?! What kind of game is that?” Kino was shocked. Although the name of the game made her question seem stupid.
“I’ll start,” he said ignoring her question, for he was too excited to start the game. He cleared his throat, turned to Kino and said, “You’re very cute.” He grinned.
His smile smoulders her, causing her to turn a deeper shade of rose.
“Your turn,” he said, it was as if he was really enjoying himself.
“Wha—what kind of game is this?”
“If you don’t play this game, you aren’t going home because I’m the one with the bus pass,” he threatened, as he waved the ticket in her face. She made a swipe at it but missed, as he held it over his head.
“CURSE YOU!!!”
Kino aimed a punch at him but she missed as he dodged swiftly by moving to her other side.
“Hmph! I’m not saying anything.”
“Kino really is cute,” he said cheerfully tilting his head. Yuki noticed her shoulders were bare, so he acted on chivalry. He started taking of his jacket and draping it over Kino’s shoulders, but Kino quickly pushed his hand back.
“What are you trying to do?! Flirtatious bastard!” She insulted, her words more rude and harsh then they were ever before.
“Ow, harsh words Kino! Hmmm, what other things do couples do? Ah!”
Yuki then threw the jacket over her head, grabbed her hand and started pulling her towards the brightly lit street, as if a light bulb turned on. Kino pulled the jacket off her head and quickly moved her feet before she fell forward. She eventually couldn’t help but start laughing and follow along.

Yuki ordered a crepe and the two of them sat down at a small table. Kino slowly slipped her arms through the sleeves of Yuki’s jacket, noticing how long it was.
“So is your grandma taking the news with Mayu well?”
“I highly doubt it.”
“But she called it off didn’t she?”
“Its company reasons but mainly it was because Mayu’s father decided to forget about investing in our company entirely. Mayu probably pulled some strings so she didn’t have to marry me.”
“She’d hate being your wife.”
“Oh really in what way?”
“The two of you are friends; she’s more interested in watching you fail at life than anything else.”
Kino cut a chunk of crepe and then held it up in front of Yuki’s face with a fork.
“Say ah~!”
Yuki blinked at first.
“Here comes the airplane. Zoom~”
Yuki was about to eat the chunk of crepe before—
“Oh no! Hijacking!”
Kino quickly shoved the fork in her mouth and grinned evilly.
“What was that?!”
“Payback, here.”
Kino said cutting another piece, and held it up to Yuki’s mouth. Yuki opened his mouth and ate from the fork.
“It’s delicious,” he said with a soft smile.

The two of them walked down the street, Kino looking one way, and Yuki looking the other. As Kino walked closer to Yuki, their hands naturally held each other. Yet a strange sensation traveled through the two of them, as if they were two magnets creating a magnetic field.
Yuki and Kino both passed by a game booth
“Panda!” she called out ecstatically, pointing at the black and white stuffed animal.
“Do you want it?”
Kino stared at it as if she was going to set something on fire and Yuki assumed that was a yes. Yuki walked up to the booth and picked up the rifle used to play the game. Kino approached him and watched him shoot down the plates with such accuracy that they didn’t break. Kino sighed in disbelief. Yuki frustrated, took out all the change in his pocket and kept trying.
“You don’t have to…”
“If I don’t get you that plushie, I won’t be able to make you happen, I’ll be a failure as your “boyfriend”,” he said with such determination. Although he said those things, he just wanted Kino to smile. He wanted to be the one who makes her happy.
Kino watched him take aim at the plates again, and put his pride on the line. Why was he doing all this for her? It was only a game; he doesn’t have to be so serious about pretending to be her boyfriend, or getting the panda.
The sound of the gun firing, and the bullet piercing through the plate echoed as the broken plate tumbled down to the ground. Yuki received congratulations from the man in charged of the booth and his prize, the panda plushie and Kino’s smile. Kino huggled the panda plushie Yuki gave her to death.
“I guess there’s some uses for you after all,” she commented mockingly.
“Hey, I’m not some kind of tool!”

Returning to the hotel where the party was taking place, the two of them sat under a gazebo surrounded by a rich garden, the assets filling the property with colour, and a floral scent. The construction noise of glittery heels stomping on the floor, and the celebrity’s trivial cries on repeat travelled through acres of land.
“Remember the first time I met you?” Yuki asked curiously.
“Yeah, how could I ever forget?” Kino replied, as if it was something important.
“I don’t know why, but while we were walking, I remembered that night. It was raining too.”
“Yeah I was really happy then.”
“What do you mean? You were crying!”
“But you called my name. Even now, you’re still here calling my name.”
Silence fell between the two of them, as Kino too remembered the night and smiled slightly before coming back to reality. She listened closely for the comforting silence, but it wasn’t there. She brought the panda plushie closer to her as she turned her head slightly, before she began to frown. Yuki smile broke loose as he sat up quickly.
“I was a monster back then. I still am…”
“You aren’t a monster, silly. How many times did I tell you that when you were little?”
“But then why is it like this?!” Kino yelled at him, as if it was his fault she had to come, as if it was his fault she had to go with Eric. Kino’s eyes softened after her frustrated outburst, she turned her head once again, only to receive apologies from Yuki.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault,” this was the truth. It was her fault for agreeing to go with Eric, her fault that she was here in the first place. Yuki stood up, a piece of her heart ripped off with him.
“Where are you going?”
“To go find and drag him here!”
Yuki started stomping off until Kino yelled,
“Stop! Uhhh…I never wanted us to come here. I never wanted to dance in the first place!” She spouted out nonsense, what she wanted to say and what she was saying was muddled up together. As if she was saying one thing, but was saying something else at the same time. She didn’t want him to leave her. The smiles and happiness from earlier disappeared completely, as if all of this was a dream.
“That’s why I got to get him to apologize to you for dragging you out here!”
“Yuki!”
Kino stumbled to catch up to him in her bare foot. Yuki slowly turned around to face her, seeing her pained expression, as she stood infront of him.
“I never wanted to make you worried. The last thing I wanted to do was to make you angry.
You said tonight was supposed to be fun, but are you having fun? Yuki, I’m ruining everything for you right?!”
The truth hurts. There was silence for a few mins, Kino held the panda close to her chest and leaned forward, jolts of pain shot through her veins every time her heart beat. The pain of being confused, and being left behind was frustrating her to the point where she could not longer hold it in.
“Wha—why am I crying? This isn’t right…I shouldn’t be the one crying.”
Everything was blurred as she spoke with an unusually quiet voice in an effort to hold herself together.
Yuki felt his heart jerk when he saw tears roll down across her face. The tears were painful for him to bear, just as they were to Kino. But he knew the pain Kino has locked up inside of her was much greater than he could ever imagine.
“Don’t leave me alone. Yuki, I’m sorry. I’m being selfish aren’t I?”
“It’s alright. I’m right here.”
He embraced her, lacing his arms around her neck like a warm scarf. She gasped, and more tears tumbled down her cheeks.
“I’m being a bother…”
“If you want me to stay with you, then I will, just like this.”
Kino hearing these words made her realizes that all she needed to do was ask. For the pain started to melt into warmth, a warmth she recognized, as streams of tears ran like rivers. She hugged Yuki tightly, never wanting to let go for she found the comforting silence she was looking for.

It was like sitting next to a camp fire in a winter night.
Everything just melted away.
Yet surreal emotions left me stirred up.
This unknown passionate feeling swelling inside,
I didn’t understand it.

“So warm…”
“I guess you like playing this game,” he said amusingly, as he loosened Kino’s grip around him with a simple, gentle push. He took a step back, bowed and stretched out his hand like a gentleman before asking, “May I have this dance?”
It was like déjà vu, Kino hesitated, yet her hand naturally reached for his hand. Yuki smiled, and quickly pulled her towards him, putting his hand around her waist and started doing the waltz. Kino’s fancy footwork was merely attempts not to step on his. She was constantly looking down at her feet. If only she knew how to waltz.
“So this means you wanted to go to the ball with me, huh?”
“I have no idea what you’re tal-AHH!”
The two uncoordinated dancers tripped and landed softly in the wet grass. Yuki surprised, slowly smiled at her. Kino blushed as he smiled.
As Yuki stood up, he held out his hand to her, and helped her get back onto her feet.
“You’re so cute.”
Kino turned bright red at the comment.
“I’ll go with you next time.”
“Will you teach me how to dance so I don’t embarrass you infront of everyone else?”
“You mean embarrass yourself, but yes it shouldn’t be too hard to learn the waltz.”
Kino laughed and smiled, cheerful as ever under the clear night sky, where one would wish upon a star. But tonight, there were no wishes to be made for they’ve already come true.

Re: A Dream

Going to post a few notes regarding the previous post.

Chapter 0 is the story of Kino and Yuki meeting for the first time. It also represents the wish of making something out of nothing. For me, and the characters as well except that would spoil the rest of my planned story. Yes, this is the beginning of a story I have been working on for a very long time. Hopefully I will have the next chapter up…eventually when I think of a good second beginning. Anyway, this chapter is set when Kino and Yuki are in grade school, about grade 4-6. I tried to remember my grade school days when writing the beginning part of the chapter. Especially when she looked out the window. Not saying that this actually happened, but I did have to go down memory lane to write this.

You may recognize the title of chapter 0 is the same as one of the songs I posted earlier here. There is actually a reason. I felt that the characteristics of the song could best reflect the ‘comforting silence’ that Kino needed because she spent her life in a silence polluted with tension and solitude. In the beginning of the story, you see her alone, reading silently but there would always be lots of noise going around her. Then near the end when she’s alone, she is also with Yuki and instead of her being silent, the world around her becomes more calm.

About the actual story
Anyway, a doodle I drew in grade 9 I believe. Yes I had this story in my head since grade 9 XP.

This is Yuki and Kino. I drew them upside down because I initially wanted them to be falling from the sky. Except, my photoshop skills were not pro, and they still aren’t, so it’s the white background of doom. Funny cause a year later I watched Eureka Seven and was like “Oh that’s the scene!” So you may notice some Eureka Seven influence in the story. Parts of the full story are also based on the dreams I have, and real life experiences, not necessarily mine though. Also, you’ll notice that I have a thing for four lettered names. I really have to fix that but yeah, all the characters essentially have four lettered names.

Kino Pavane
I got Kino’s name from Kino from Kino no Tabi. In Kino no Tabi, Kino’s name actually belonged to a traveler who died, but she decided to inherit the name. Think Trowa from Gundam Wing. Why I used the name Kino, I don’t know. Maybe cause I want to hid something so I use the name of someone else hahaha yeah I don’t make sense. The name suits the character really well because it has a boyish ring to it, and Kino isn’t really your typical female character. Pavane is a type of dance. Cause the rest of the story is set in an “elite” private school I thought a European last name would be pretty sweet. Better than other mangaka’s who give their characters SUPER long names just so that they make it seem like they are the upper class when it just makes it harder for me to remember their names. A really interesting fact, Kino means yesterday in Japanese.

Yuki Pelletier
Really, Yuki’s name was one of those instinctive “that’s his name” decisions. Yuki means snow in Japanese, and in the later part of the story it makes room for scenes that wouldn’t happen if his name wasn’t Yuki. Anyway, how I got Yuki’s last name is a really dumb story. Since I was bored, I felt like giving all the characters last name. At the time my desk was littered with books, and random markers and magazines. So Pelletier came from the author of a french book that was on my desk. Again, French name for “I am from super rich family” affect.

That’s it I guess…I hope to post other parts of the story eventually…

A dream

Chapter 0: Aruarian Dance
Kino watched old friends reunites after the long summer vacation. She began reading her book, ignoring the rest of the class, as they ignored her. The teacher entered the room, and silence grew from the loud chattering.
“Good morning everyone.”
“Good morning.”
“My name is Mrs.—“
All sound was faded as Kino stared out the window, away from her book. Again, this year she sat at the back of the class near the windows, with nobody. Watching the squirrels, the leaves fall, and the wind blow through the trees before returning to the world hidden within her book.
“This year we have a new student.”
“Eh?”
“He just moved in the city with his aunt so please give him a warm welcome.”
The teacher turned around and motioned for the boy to enter the classroom. Without even having to enter, the entire class became his fan.
“Everyone, please settle down!”
The eruption dispersed and calmed down.
“Hello. I’m Yuki. I’m 11 years old and I just moved from New York City to Klinton. I hope to have a fun year with everyone!”
“Ok, Yuki you can sit…hmmm”
Everyone tried to make room for him at their table and yet in the end, “With Kino, at the back. If you can’t see the board, let me know.”
“I’ll be fine.” He said with a smile before walking to the back of the room and taking his spot. Kino looked through Yuki, as she heard the whispers.
“The monster?”
“No way!”
“How could she do that? Poor Yuki.”
“Why the monster?”
Monster, Monster, Monster
“So today, you’ll be receiving your agenda books and schedules. Also, I’ll be expecting first day of school reflection journals by the end of the week—“
Blah, blah, blah Kino thought as everything turned to mush and she grew bored of the story.
“You’re Kino, right?”
Kino looked at the boy that sat across from her through the corner of her eyes. Her eyes focused outside at the green grass and the schools outdoor swimming pool again, having no interest in being friendly with the boy.
“Why don’t you go sit at the other table over there? They seem to be calling you.”
She said not taking her eyes off the green grass, yet somehow knowing the kids at the other table were signalling Yuki to the other table.
“Wouldn’t you get lonely?”
She tilted her head back, to glance at him wondering what he was talking about. The boy just smiled at her. Kino eyes blinked, and then she turned her body around to observe him with a puzzled face.

The heat from summer didn’t leave the air as Kino sat under the shady tree with a juice box. Peacefully sitting there watching Yuki. He kicked the soccer ball, the goalie misses, and the girls swarm around him. Kino bit her straw and gnawed on it, irritated.
“Pathetic.”
A familiar laugh and fearful cries reached her ears, and the juice box in her hand was crushed.
“Hey kid, do you know who we are? We are the PB&J.”
“So hand over that Kingdom Card.”
“No way! This is a rare card, you can’t take it!”
“Too bad.”
The biggest of the group of brutes walked passed the two boys and then stood in front of frightened boy like a pillar, swiping the card away from the boy as if the boy wasn’t even holding it.
“Wait! That’s mine!”
The boy quickly tried to retrieve his belonging but the brute threw him easily to the side.
“Take care of him.”
“Yes boss!”
And so the beating began. The boy called for his friends, but they all stood frozen. The girls hiding behind a tree for they were too scared what would happen to them if they told the teacher.
“So its you guys again.”
“Huh?”
“Hey you! Give the card back and stop trying to hog all the attention.”
Heads turned, as Kino stood there with her arms crossed, tapping her foot in agitation.
“Monster…”
“It’s mine.”
“I hate people who try to be sarcastic.”
“sarcas–what? Are you trying to make fun of us?!”
“Dumb pig, why would I waste my time trying to insult you? Now give back the card.”
“What did you call me?!”
The boss of the trio clenched his fist, crumpling the card at the same time, before running at her. The other two followed.
“Don’t touch me.”
She said brushing the boys off.
“Why you little monster!”
The pig then grabbed onto her arm and Kino retaliated by punching him in the face, while she tried to pull herself free from his grasp.
“I said don’t touch me!”
The boys let go of their conscious and the beating began
“Hehe! This is what you get for not listening to us.”
“Yeah monster.”
Kino tried to retaliate, and yet it was obvious how futile it was.
“Stop it!”
The fatty dropped Kino and they all turned around to see Yuki. Kino lying there on the ground tried to get up, her face bruised.
“…boss!”
“Pft, lets go.”
The bullies started walking away while the others followed.
“Wait boss! What about the monster?”
“Leave her to the new kid. We’ll get her after school.”
All three of them, their voices now mumble jumble as they walked further and further from Yuki and Kino.
She gasped, putting everything she’s got to push herself up and sit up before trying to stand up.
“What are you doing?”
“Leave me alone.”
She said angrily as she glared at the three of them, she swayed back and forth. Yuki quickly stood next to her, making sure she wouldn’t fall.
“Oie! You shouldn’t go after them.”
“Why not?”
“Fighting doesn’t solve the problem.”
He said, and was about to support her when her arm extended out and smacked him away.
“I’m just trying to help!”
“Don’t!”
“Fine Fine.”
As her back was turned to Yuki, she said, “I don’t need your kindness.”

Kino put her book into her backpack before she looked out from her corner and watched all the kids rush up to their parents and smiled cheerfully. All she heard was “Yuki this.” “Yuki that”.

The comforting silence fell as the chatter disappeared. Kino sighed in relief, yet disappointment and the class teacher came up to her.
“Since Yuki is new will you be his buddy for the week?”
“Sure.”
“Just so that the transition into a new school is easier.”
“Yeah”
“I told him this earlier so he should know about it. Maybe you could use this opportunity to become friends with him.”
“I have to go now.”
“Ok, have a good rest of the day.”

Mother Nature was playing tricks, as the clouds rolled in, and the sky cried, prompting Kino to pull out her umbrella. Kino saw the boy from lunch break but knew not to expect any gratitude and stepped into the rain.
“Hey that sucks Kevin.”
“Yeah, the monster totally ruined your card didn’t she?”
“Seriously what’s her problem. Because of her my card got destroyed.”
“She’s just trying to look good.”
Splash, splash splash. Kino walked all the way to the school fence until the PB&J trio from earlier stepped out in their designer brand rain jackets, looking big and mighty yet so small like insects.
“You’re blocking the way.”
“Do you know who we are girl?!”
“We are the PB&J gang!”
“And you don’t mess with us.”
“I already know who you are. You’re named after that sandwich. Plus I don’t eat PB and J so there shouldn’t be a mess in the first place.”
“Don’t get smart on us!”
“Why because you’re all stupid?”
“Grab her!”
The two boys came running at her, and she quickly swung her umbrella and managed to divert them to the side. However, that only worked for a short while, before they managed to twist it inside out, and break the plastic that held it together.
“Hey, you broke my umbrella!”
“And now we’re going to break you!”
Full of rage, she strikes back and began unleashing the demon inside of her. But three against one put her at a disadvantage. While trying to avoid a punch, she tripped. Scrapping her knee, and twisting her ankle. She quickly tried to get up, but she was immobilized and thus sat back preparing to watch herself get beaten. The boy grabbed her face with his ugly stubby fingers, and drew back his arm like a trigger.
“Any last words?”
Kino looked at him with no fear, no anger, and no feelings, as if she was used to being treated this way.
“What’s….wrong with you? Say something!” He said squishing her face and violently shook her. Kino felt her neck was about to snap but she didn’t say anything.
“Monster!” The boy released the trigger and his fist was about to make contact with her face. Yet time froze, his fist stopped in front of her face. Suddenly, she could hear the rain again, the comforting silence brought her back into focus. The fist slowly retreated away from her face and she saw Yuki, his hand gripped around his arm like a snake constricting its prey.
“Let go of her.”
The boy quickly let go of Kino and backed away, yet was trapped within his prey’s grip.
“Where did you come from?” One of the boys whispered. Yuki ignored the question.
“Will you guys leave her alone?”
He spoke to them with a serious tone. As if he was a different person. But Kino looked at him and felt a warm glow radiate from him.
“Hey, don’t be mad. I know, I’ll let you join our group. Yeah…” the boy bribed Yuki, but saw his pathetic reflection in Yuki’s golden stare.
“I’m the smartest person around! Those two just follow my orders. They listen to whatever I say. That’s right, they’re a bunch of idiots! Wait! No I mean—this girl is a monster! She just sits there and doesn’t do anything. Everyone should just listen to me.” Yuki hand tensed up and the boy yelped in pain. The two boys who loyally followed their “boss” looked at him and slowly lost their respect for him.They then fearfully ran from the scene.
“Where are you going?! You guys, what about PB and J!?”
The two boys walked away from their defeated boss and didn’t turn when he called out to them.
“If I were you, I’d listen to your lackeys. They seem to know a lot more about what’s right and what’s wrong then you.”
“You’re wrong! I’m the smartest kid in the school!”
“Last time I checked, you are repeating a grade this year.”
“That’s…That’s because it’s her fault!”
“Don’t bring her into this.”
Kino watched Yuki and noticed the serious look on his face. The boy noticed this too. Yuki let go of the lone bully’s arm. Unsure what to do the boy ran screaming.
Yuki then grabbed his umbrella, which was tossed onto the floor, and held it over Kino, who was soaking wet.
“Thank…you…” she said shivering, not sure what else to say.
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah,” she said before standing up to quickly. She froze as the pain from her ankle exploded. Kino fell back down just as quickly as she stood up and placed her hand on her ankle and held it, but the light pressure from her hand sent jolts of pain throughout her body.
“You’re ankle, is it twisted? Ah, you’re knee is bleeding… Uhh…”
Yuki then looked inside his back, the umbrella not moving from its place over Kino’s head. He held out a plastic wrapped shirt and she looked at him confused.
“For your knee, ah let me do it. Hold this.”
He handed Kino the umbrella and he ripped the package open. He gently tied the shirt around her knee and smiled at his neat workmanship.
“There. I’ll help you stand,” he said taking her hand and waited for her. Kino now standing upright, one hand placed on his shoulder, one hand holding his hand. She then noticed his hair and eyes were more gold then she thought.
“Can you walk?”
“I can try…”
She took a step forward and started to shake.
“Not good. How heavy are you?”
“I don’t know…”
“How far is your house?”
“Pretty far…”
“Uhhh,” Yuki moaned while handing her the umbrella again before he lowered himself so that Kino could get on his back.
“Get on.”
Kino blinked before she wrapped her arms around his neck. Yuki hoisted her up onto his back and she held on tightly.
“Hey, you’re really light.”
“Shut up,” she said leaning against his warm back, something melted inside her.

“So I guess, I’m going to have to be your buddy right? I mean taking you around school and stuff. You probably won’t be able to walk for the next two days,” Yuki joked. He then went on a tangent but Kino was too tired to keep up with him. More like she was lost in her own detour. Yuki paused and he curiously frowned before he commented, “You’re being awfully quiet. Well actually, you’re usually quiet but how should I put this…”
“I’m not telling you to leave me alone?”
“Yeah kind of- I don’t know a word for that so we’ll just leave it as that.”
“Why are you being so nice?”
“Me nice?” Yuki responded, unaware of his own kindness. Kino sighed in annoyance at his naïveté.
“Normally, people wouldn’t offer piggy backs to someone who can’t walk,” she informed him.
“But if I didn’t you wouldn’t be able to go home,” he responded easily. Kino was suspicious, she had been convinced that nobody is genuinely kind to a stranger, let alone treat her kindly enough to even carry her back home. Yet…
“What about you’re parents? Aren’t they going to be worried if you come home late?” She inquired frustrated at the simple answer he gave her.
“I should be asking you that. Aren’t your parents going to be worried if you couldn’t come home?”
Kino was irritated, and the fact that he brought up her parents irritated her exponentially for she hated the person who was legally her mother.
“Hey, why is it that you’re always by yourself?” Yuki asked, his question rang in Kino’s ear and cleared up her emotions.
“Huh?”
“Like today, every time I see you, you’re either getting mulled by those guys, or sitting by yourself.”
“’Cause I’m not important…”
“That doesn’t make sense,” Yuki argued back at Kino, “That doesn’t mean you have to be by yourself. Humans can’t live by themselves you know, so we have to stick together.”

Look at her. She thinks she’s so cute, with that dress, and her stuffed animal. I know! Being nice to everyone, it makes me sick. Did you see Daniel yesterday? He was bruised apparently because she kicked and punched him. You mean she was beating him up? Yeah! Scary…I hope the PB and J gang get her. She’s a monster, a monster, a monster, a monster.
Monster!
“Why are my eyes so watery? What’s going on?” Kino thought to herself.
“No matter what I do, they all look at me like I’m some kind of alien, as if I’m the boogie man from under their beds. I’m a monster.”
“I’ve only just met you today. But you aren’t a monster. Besides, just because everyone else thinks you’re a monster, doesn’t mean you are one. Everyone else is a monster. Kino, I think you’re really cool. So don’t go calling yourself that anymore.”
Kino listened to everything he said and even the silent pause that followed. Slowly she had tears forming on the edge of her eyes.
“I’m…crying?” She said surprised, almost shocked. Just like Mother Nature, Kino’s heart was playing tricks on her and the teardrops began to roll down her cheeks.
“Wait, serious?!”
Kino had more tears come out of her eyes, as the warmth from his kindness totally diminishes her to tears that she didn’t know she had.
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry. Kino?”
For the first time in a while someone called her name. She buried her face into the back of his shoulders, her embrace around his neck tighter. Yuki stopped walking and stood there under the rain looking up at the sky. This was the beginning.

A monster, I always felt that way…except when I’m around him. It’s as if I’m dreaming.