May 17, 2008 § 1 Comment

On June 21, VGL is having a free concert in Toronto. Unfortunately, I’m out of town that week and is unable to attend the concert. This new discovery has left me in despair (hehe, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei~!)

This leads me to my question: Have you ever wanted something so much that you are left in tears when you realize that it was impossible to reach for it?

Recently I started writing out a script for my next shoujo manga doodle (even though I haven’t finished the first one) and it deals with a similar topic. For those of you who saw some of my drawings, you will recognize the name Kino and Yuki. Actually, I made the two characters up as the two main characters in a story, but I have not fully written out. Now to backtrack, Kino and Yuki were separated due to an unfortunate event that led to the death of one of their friends, and another friend to lose all her memories of the past and begin invoking memories of her past life. Anyway, so the script deals with the female lead, Kino, and how she is struggling to distinguish what she thinks she wants, and what she really wants. That being, whether she is truly happy that her friend (Yuki) is still alive somewhere, or does her heart yearn for more. In true shoujo manga fashion, she will eventually realize that she is in love with him (but I am not talking about that part of the story. ) Kino questions why her feelings of emptiness has not lifted, why she still feels like her heart is always falling to pieces. She dismisses the fact that she wants to go see him as something selfish and doesn’t want to be seen that way. But is it really selfish of her to want to see him? In this situation, she probably is selfish, but it does not mean that she is a bad person. Since, she was separated from Yuki and all her other friends by force, and because of other undisclosed background information that I am not telling you about, she has a reason. Also, love would make her obsessive since it is another form of obsession towards an object, person, or idea.

In a real life situation, where is the borderline between selfish and just pure necessity drawn? Really when you start to think about it, it is in human nature to be selfish, but selfish for what was needed to survive such as food, and shelter. However, when we classify someone as a pig because they eat so much, are they selfish? When someone lives in a huge house, or buys a HUGE plot of land for themselves, are they being selfish? When a parent is being overprotective of their child, are they being selfish? Simply wanting to see someone smile, wanting someone to call your name, wanting someone to hold your hand, is that being selfish?

Simply wanting to go to a free concert, is that being selfish?
Sometimes my parents should stop reading all those parenting books to diagnose all my problems, and stick to what is in front of them.



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