Story time! (As told by General)
August 10, 2008 § 6 Comments
It is story time with panda general-sama. Please grab a seat and some tissues, because Breaking Dawn is epic. Warning to all fangirls: Edward and Jacob do not sleep together cause Jacob turned Edward down for his loli fetish.
“Yeah we’re married!”
then they go on honeymoon
“lets do it again!”
“no you’re arm is broken”
“I don’t care ><”
“dude just shut up!”
“uhh i feel sick”
“Oh woopdedoo I’m going to have a kid!”
Almost dies cause kid starts breaking every single bone in her body cause she’s a tool. Kid is born given a ridiculously dumb name (reneesme) Jacob thinks Bella’s dead so tries to kill kid. When he sees kid he falls in love with it (wait….newborn baby…and around 18 year old guy…)
“Oh yeah…I wasn’t dead, I was turning intoa vampire…”
“it’s ok…I love your kid!”
“oh that’s great, now there won’t be vampy vs werewolf battle!”
“yeah I know!”
“Now I have to go kill something so I don’t eat you bai bai”
Edward takes Bella to go eat. They eat, and then Bella and kid are together “yeah love kid!”
Then italian vampires go “that kid is evil and dangerous we have to kill her!”
“Well thanks for taking the time to come over and try and kill my kid. Here’s a present”
italian vampires get owned because bella has special mind powers to make you unable to use powers (think njammer except…vampire jammer or geass cancellor)
So the italian vampire end up leaving for home and giving up. wait…they didn’t do anything!
Oh and while all this is happening you find out kid can send images to people’s brains by touching you with it’s cheek.
Jasper and Alice come back (wait when did they leave)
trying to remember what the wiki post said…
ok edward reads bella’s mind
great book. Suggest everyone who is broken like Lelouch to read it.