April 28, 2009 § 1 Comment
So another story in the Kino x Yuki series that is…emo again. I’M SORRY D: I know I promised a happy story, but as you can see, I’m not a very happy person deep down inside lol.
Anyway, so the title of this story is the title of a song by Nana Kitade.
lyrics can be found here
I really like the song, and the strong sense of imagery in the lyrics. Its actually really chilling in contrast to the happy, and more melodious songs that dominate my playlist.
Anyway, for this chapter, I was trying to convey Kino’s feelings by writing it in first person. It was a little difficult cause I think love is overrated and redundant (I’m going to get shot saying this aren’t I?) But then again I find the hardest problems to solve are the most trivial. In order to write the story, I tried to put myself in Kino’s frame of mind. Although I don’t really know if I was able to relay her feelings, I hope I didn’t break any brains with my terrible sense of grammar and bad story telling skills.
April 28, 2009 § 2 Comments
I was unusually anxious, as I shuffled to the grand rotunda. Even though I cut my practice time by a half so I would make it early, I still wondered, “was Yuki waiting for me?” But suddenly the world crashed in front of my eyes, as Lily stole him for just a moment in eternity.
The contents of my hands spilled revealing a freshly frosted colourful array of sweet goodness, contaminated by the feasting unseen bacteria. Simply saying, “it slipped out of my grasp” was a mere understatement. But what else was there to say?
I stumbled a bit before running out the door into the cold autumn wind.
Yuki threw Lily off of him and wiped his mouth with the back of his soiled hand.
“Kino!” He barked, trying to get her attention but she never turned back. He chased after her, like the pathetic dog he was. Lily stood there at the foyer watching Yuki’s back. She secretly wished to herself that he was running after her.
I sat underneath the shelter of a playground slide. It was frustrating how stupid I have become, and how annoying the world around me was. How childish.
She was lost, lost and no where to be found.
She was scared, scared and petrified of moving forward.
She was frozen, frozen in an endless waltz.
“Kino! Where are you?! If you can hear me then say something!”
The tears built up as I heard muddy footsteps draw closer and closer to my secret base. Lonely dark shadows that have haunted me in the past, crawled up my spine and choke me.
My mouth opened, as I saw a golden haired figure. I sprinted, panting so hard that you could hear the sharp sound of my breath pierce my lungs. Reaching out to him, arm extending, and hand outstretched. Out of pure desperation, I called out his name, yet only silence was heard. With that final leap, my hand grabbed onto his shirt tightly, only to feel it slip right through my fingers. This was a dream seen many times, each time they were all dreams. What makes this time any different?
“Kino, I’m sorry…I’m sorry…”
That wet paw drew to my face, only for it to be swung back at him.
“Don’t do this to me! Just go back where you came from!”
“But I can’t—“
“Leave me alone! If you stay with me, you’ll only get hurt because everything is my fault.”
“What? Kino, I think we should talk.”
“Just get out of my face!”
“Kino, I’m not leaving you here like this.”
I spoke the truth, and only the truth.
“You’re always disappearing, even if I told you to stay, you would just walk further away from me. So why don’t you just go away?! Friends, right, I’ve hated you since the very moment you spoke to me, so why don’t you just do yourself a favour and forget about me and go out with Lily. For all I care, you could fuck her for hours on end and give her babies! I don’t give a damn!”
I shrieked, with anger before trapping myself in this darkness I hated so much. It was as if the world revolved around me, and I wanted to stop.
On that bulletin board, were the names of those special people. The kind of people you would say had “talent.” But of course, I’m not special, and so my name wasn’t there. I knew people like me couldn’t achieve anything, and yet I feel ridiculous for being upset.
“Work hard, and I’m sure you’ll ace it,” those words were lies. Just like the boy who spoke them, but that’s just like me placing the blame on someone else. The sad thing was I believed in this fairytale that I don’t belong in. This isn’t reality, and I learned that the hard way.
I lifted my hand, above black and white stripes, appearing to be ready to paint colours.
“Kino, you may start,” said the nice Russian lady who sat in a stiff chair. Her ears opened, hoping to hear something spectacular from garbage. But not a single sound escaped.
The contents of my hands spilled and the darkness absorbed the colourful array of melodic goodness, over the Steinway’s polished wooden keys.
I kicked myself out, leaving no trace of a murmur.
It wasn’t hard to guess what was happening around me. I knew I wasn’t anything special, I knew that I was second best, I knew very damn well. But God seems to enjoy keeping me chained to witness unnecessary pain. I don’t care, yet I’m troubled anyway. I’m too aware, too sensitive to the insignificant changes that happen around me, it’s disgusting. It’s disgusting how I’ve become like those despicably self-centred people. That’s why nobody will look at me.
Eric handed Kino some ice tea, and noticed she did not flinch from the cold, as if her hands were even colder than the bittersweet solution itself.
“Eric, what am I doing here?”
“What do you mean?” he asked lazily staring at the clouds that passed by through the hard clear substance.
“It’s all just some stupid dream, I shouldn’t be here.”
How silly of her to have thought that something as horrible as her would be able to understand what the great masters had to say.
How silly of her to have thought that someone would listen to crap like her.
How silly of her to have thought that Yuki would even want to look at a monster.
“Please, I’ll do anything…I’ll fly to Mexico, kill someone and put myself in jail, or even jump out of this window, just get me out,” I pleaded as the very air of the place made me sick. “Is this your wish?”
“I said it before remember?”
“I’ll grant you one wish, the least I could do for you.”
I am a stain and I want to wipe myself clean from this perfect fantasy.
“I wish I never existed.”
April 25, 2009 § 4 Comments
Today I just had this brilliant theory that could explain the unexplainable question “What’s with fangirls and yaoi?”
First of all, lets think about the lifestyle of an average North American teenager. It is a fact that not many people read books. With the current popularity of manga, teenagers are attracted to the idea of reading an interesting story with pretty images. For girls, they’d be reading manga from the shoujo genre that depicts cute bubbly to passionate love romance story. Now in shoujo manga, the main character is often a female character who is either in love with a boy, or has a boy already in love with them. At the end of the day, the girl will always have a boy or two chasing after her. For these teenager girls, who may only read shoujo manga, are then influenced by these story ideas which makes them seem boy crazy. Of course, critical people will point out that realistically speaking, guys do not fall out of a tree, and that love isn’t simply an exchanging of kind gestures and slight possessiveness. So these fangirls are left unsatisfied with this realization of common sense and because they think that the way they want the world to revolve is the only way things can spin, they put themselves into a state of denial. “Why doesn’t he (they) like me? I’m pretty, I’m a nice person right? Maybe he’s gay? Yes that’s it! He’s gay!” Instead of being depressed, they choose to hide their bitterness by feinting ignorance of their crush’s sexual orientation.
A friend asked me “how ripped do you want your guy to be?” (not exactly how she phrased it but close enough.) I thought because some of the people who come visit my blog are males, I decided to share my answer with you just cause it might prove useful one day.
“They’d need to be rip enough to carry me for 2 km.”
April 24, 2009 § 3 Comments
This is the ending of the anime Higurashi no Eden (Eden of the East). The song itself is stellar, but what’s more spectacular is the paper animation that goes along with it. I find it really creative, and profound, and suits the anime very well because it is a show with a lot of mystery.
If you have not seen this anime yet, I HIGHLY recommend taking the time to check it out as one of the best anime this season. I would even go as far as saying that it is better than K-ON. If that doesn’t convince you, the opening is sung by Oasis.
April 23, 2009 § Leave a comment
Sadly I did not know it was his birthday until today because it is actually unofficial and assumed. Whatever, gives me a reason to be happy and fangirl over Arthur. But nonetheless, thanks to the friendly people at the Arthur Kirkland fanclub for informing me of the greatest day today! Even though today is the
April 19, 2009 § Leave a comment
Don’t Say Lazy
Recently I posted about K-ON, but because I love the ending so much, I am writing another post about it.
So what makes the ending awesome? For one thing Mio’s hat. Really want that hat. The animation sequence that went along with it was cool too. Did I mention I want Mio’s hat? Also the song…the song itself is epic. I can only describe how epic it is with this video/song.
For those who don’t have ears (don’t lie, I know who you tonedeaf children are) first video start from 0:25 then play the second video.
That’s pretty epic. Plus K-ON and Pokemon rhyme, how skillage is that?
April 19, 2009 § 1 Comment
Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence Live
I thank the Axis Power Hetalia for introducing me to Sakamoto Ryuichi. This song is the most epic instrumental music I have ever heard. It even ranks almost on par with Joe Hisashi, because I’m bias. Although it sounds repetitive at first
glance listen, but when you sit and listen, you can hear the subtle changes in melody. The melody clearly paints a picture of a light snowy night, and someone is waiting, or walking around admiring the colourful Christmas decorations.
The melody was used in Utada Hikaru’s song “FYI” in her new Album “This is the One”.
Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence – FYI